


When the Stick Hit the Fan

by Wrockstargirl



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Crack, Does this count as porn?, Germany, Herr Stick - Freeform, Hetalia, Other, Sticks, VERY CRACK-Y, its kind of porn, kind of PWP, not even sure if that's Germany's Stick's Name, whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-22 07:24:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3720175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wrockstargirl/pseuds/Wrockstargirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A disagreement between close friends and a near fatal accident causes Germany and his Stick to become closer than ever before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When the Stick Hit the Fan

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, and welcome to a crack fanfic that has porn in it! That's not very crack-y of it, but oh well. I read 1 fanfic for Germany and his stick and the writer called it "Herr Stick" and while I'm not sure if that's its real name, I like it and it adds to the ridiculousness of this whole thing that the stick has a name. Well, anyway, a comment with concrit would be greatly appriciated, but most importanly, please enjoy this work in whatever capacity you want- for laughs or...other reasons. I don't mind if it is for other reasons, you just have fun ;)

It was a night like any other. Germany was at home doing paperwork. Just a normal night, until the shit hit the fan, literally. 

Germany was trying to write up a report and his dear friend, Herr Stick, was being annoying and distracting. In an adorable, friendly way, but still very distracting as it sat there on the desk. "Stop it, Stick! I'm trying to work!" Germany said harshly. Still, Herr Stick was just as distracting as ever. "Just leave me alone!" Germany yelled and, with an angry wave of his hand, accidentally swept Herr Stick right off the desk and into the rarely run metal fan that sat in the opposite corner of the room. 

"Oh, shit, Herr Stick, are you alright?" Germany shouted, bound in across the room to check on it. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that". Germany picked up Herr Stick and looked it over. It appeared to be undamaged. "Well, you're alright. Thank Gott the fan wasn't on. I would've...I would've lost you". Germany bit his lip and looked away from his beloved Stick as tears quickly sprang into his eyes. He glanced back as he continued "I don't think, no, I know that I could not live without you. Don't ever leave me, please. I care for you too much". Germany glanced away again, embarrassed at having revealed his long-held feelings for the Stick and wondering if it felt the same way. When Germany finally glanced back, the surprisingly gentle gaze of Herr Stick gave Germany all the answers he needed. "Oh, Herr, I didn't know you felt the same way!" Germany exclaimed as he gave the Stick a tight hug. 

As he hugged the Stick, he felt the end of it brush up against his cock. "Oh, Stick, I'm not sure if we should go that fast and rush this" Germany said with a blush, pulling away from the embrace. But as he did so, Herr Stick pressed more firmly against his cock, which had begun to harden under its firm touch. "Oh, Stick, your hard wood is making my wood hard!" Germany exclaimed with a moan. He quickly took off his clothes so that he was naked and cast them aside. 

"Oh Herr" Germany said as he ran the sick up and down the underside of his cock. Occasionally, he would twirl it around the head of his penis or tease his asshole. Germany sucked on his own fingers as he moaned and groaned under the ministrations of Herr Stick. Germany stuck a very wet finger into his asshole and groaned at the intrusion, both painful and pleasurable. He moved his finger about as the Stick touched his cock. He repeated this process with his second and third fingers until he couldn't take it anymore. 

"Herr, Herr" Germany said in a low, husky voice, breathing heavily. "I need you inside of me". He moved the Stick up to his mouth and, after sucking on it, swirling his tongue all over it to coat it with a thick layer of saliva, Germany teased his asshole a bit before shoving almost the whole length of Herr Stick into him. He groaned in pleasure and rolled his hips. He slowly moved the Stick in and out of him. "Ah, it feels so good" he moaned. He kept moving faster and faster, his breath becoming more and more labored. "Herr, Herr Stick, I want, I want to ride you" Germany gasped out. He slid Herr Stick out of him with a pop, missing the full feeling of having Herr Stick in him already. He quickly walked over to his chair, the one he had been working at not an hour before, and wedged Herr Stick in between the seat cushions. Positioning himself over it, Germany quickly sat on the Stick, putting all of it once more into his hole. "Ah!" He screamed with pleasure. 

He moved up and down on the Stick, moaning and getting closer and closer with each stroke. He reached down and, picking up his fully hard erection, pumped himself in time with Herr Stick. Suddenly, the Stick hit something deep inside of Germany, something that felt insanely good, and Germany cried out. "Again, again!" He ordered breathily. He hit that spot inside of him every time with the Stick and he went faster and faster until he was nearly there. "I'm about to, I'm about to I'm....." Germany trailed off as he cried out in extreme pleasure as a massive orgasm hit him and cum covered his hand. He pumped himself a few more times before moving off of Herr Stick, pulling it out of the cushions and slumping down in the chair, exhausted. 

"Ich leibe dich, Herr Stick" Germany breathed out before falling asleep naked at his work desk with his true love, Herr Stick.


End file.
